Top 10 of "I'm Not Going To Be That Parent" Before And After Having Kids
Have you seen that commercial for State Farm Insurance about life before children and after children? If not, check out the commercial here. Basically it talks about life before kids and lists things like, I'll never move to the suburbs, I'll never get a minivan and I'll never have a second child. Then, the couple have children and the things they thought they would never do, they do. This got me thinking about what type of parent I thought I would be and what type of parent I am now. Here is my list of, "I'm not going to do x, when I'm a parent before and after having kids:
1. I'm not going to wear the mom-drobe: I had heard stories about moms wearing yoga pants and athletic wear when they're with children and thought this made no sense. Now that I'm a mom, I realize there is a time for dressing up and there is a time for being comfortable and practical. If my comfortable involves black yoga pants, running shoes and my aviator sunglasses, so be it.
2. I'm not going to use the same phrases my mom used: Ahh yes, I remember all those fights in the backseat of the car with my sister and my mom saying, "you keep this up and I am turning the car around." Yes, used it. Or singing this sisters song when my sister and I were fighting with each other that I thought was so annoying at the time. Yep, have three girls and makes total sense to me now to sing that song.
3. I'm not going to have a parent-mantra: If you were around friends who had children before you did and heard them use the same phrase over and over with their children and you thought, "this is odd." Well, that was me and now I find myself saying, "mommy is really busy right now, so you will have to wait a minute." Apparently I say it so much, I witnessed my children playing house and pretending they were me with this phrase.
4. I'm not going to stop celebrating every Hallmark holiday: Life before having children for me consisted of work, my family and my boyfriend (husband now). Any excuse to celebrate with a dinner and gift attached was right up my alley. While we still celebrate the major holidays, certain holidays like Valentine's Day consists of a nice card exchange in the kitchen. Or this year, writing cards out to each other and forgetting to actually exchange them.
5. I'm not going to be that parent that worries: I consider my parenting-style fairly hands-off, but I do still worry way more about my children than I thought I would.
6. I'm not going to have mom-guilt: Before children, there was no one relying on my for every need so no need to feel guilty. Now I feel guilty for forgetting a school snack or spending time away from my children or my crafting skills not on par with other Pinterest moms.
7. I'm not going to go out to dinner and talk about my children: I remember attending a friend's birthday for their child before having kids of my own and everyone I talked to at the party told stories about their children. I kept thinking that this will never be me. Although we do talk about other subjects, kids are part of our lives now so they are always a central conversation piece. Plus, I have learned talking to other parents about my kid issues and getting feedback is actually really helpful.
8. I'm not going to give up my weekends: Before children I would go out after work and sleep in on the weekends. I remember there was one weekend I watched a marathon of some tv show for several hours. Now we still have date nights out, but try to go early because we know the kids will be up on time in the morning and we will proudly be watching a Nickelodeon marathon.
9. I'm not going to ever get tired of hearing those little questions: When I would go to my friends' houses and hear their kids ask various questions, I thought it was really endearing and fun to hear what questions kids have. Well after my three-year-old started talking and the endless questions that come up everyday, there are some days I find myself just nodding my head and saying, "yes I totally agree" because there are times when I need to give my brain a rest.
10. I'm not going to give in to those little requests: When I would be out shopping before kids and hear kids having tantrums. I would think why can't this parent deal with their child or when I have kids, my kids won't act like this. While my kids generally behave in stores and know not to ask for extra things while we are out shopping, there have been times when I just give in. If a sucker in the check-out lane stops the whining or meltdown, sometimes it's just worth it.
I am so thankful for all three of my children and now cannot imagine my life without them. However, I did see life totally different before children.
What is your list of things you never thought you would do as a parent? Do you find yourself doing things differently now than you thought you would before kids?