Why Don't Parents Talk?
I was recently out to dinner with some of my friends without our children. As much as we try not to bring up kids during these dinners, some how the conversation always turns to kids.
One of my friends asked why parents do not talk to each other. I thought this was an interesting question. We have no problem jumping on the Internet, talking to our pediatrician and referencing the latest parenting book, but we never think to ask our friends if they have a solution. maybe parents feel they should know the answer or feel their question is odd or even will be judged for asking.
Here are the 10 things I learned from my friends or passed along to a friend that were not found in any other published parenting guide or from an expert:
1. Breastfeeding and bottle feeding do not work for me. What should I do? This was a question I was asked by another mom who works full-time and travels a lot for work. I had told her actually I had a solution for her. I explained that I had exclusively pumped for all three of my kids and it was the best of both worlds for me.
2. Will my water break? Will I know? My water never broke for any of my kids so I passed this information on to one of my friends. I started having contractions and went to the hospital and each time the doctor broke my water. Another one of my friends explained to me that she didn't realize her water broke because she had a couple of "not making it to the bathroom" accidents toward the end of her pregnancy and thought this was just another accident.
3. My daughter is three and half and stubborn. How can I potty train her? I asked this question to one of my friends since my other two children were fairly easy to potty train. She told me that her child is like this and super smart so she just told her daughter we ran out of diapers and we have to start using underwear. Out of all the potty charts, dolls and books I read, this is what finally worked for my child.
4. Help! I just found out I am pregnant and I have a young toddler. Do I buy another crib? I got pregnant when my first was nine months old and I wasn't sure what to do about the crib situation. One of my friends went through a similar situation and told me to get a twin bed with a foot and head board, put the bed against a wall and add a bed rail on the fourth side. This was a great solution since it saved buying a second crib and with the bed set-up, it was almost like a large crib. Plus, it made our oldest child feel special before her sister arrived.
5. My baby is not due for three weeks. I have plenty of time to pack for the hospital, right? One of my friends asked me this question and my answer was pack your bag! I thought this same thing. Babies rarely come early the first time around and usually within a couple of days of your due date. My first was three weeks early and I had nothing packed so I advised my friend that full-term can mean 37 weeks and to prepare now.
6. I can't do anything! Will it get better? This is the line I gave to one of my friends crying on the phone after bringing our first child home. I was used to handling a full-time job and traveling consistently and now I was having a hard time just showering. My friend told me to complete one task a day until I was able to get into a routine. This really saved my sanity and allowed me to slow down and actually enjoy my newborn.
7. My daughter is starting off behind in Kindergarten. Is preschool important? I was talking to one of my friends whose child seemed to be breezing through Kindergarten. She told me that she added another day of preschool per year of her child. So at two, her daughter went two days a week, at three, her daughter went three days a week and at four her daughter went four days a week. I am currently trying this system with our youngest and hoping when she gets to Kindergarten, she will have a better foundation and not have to catch up to her classmates.
8. My pediatrician is not a good fit, Should I look around for another one even if I still have an infant? One of my friends asked me this question and my answer is yes for sure. Most doctors you have time to research and seek out before you go to their offices. With a pediatrician, they are normally recommended to you by your doctor and you don't see them before you have your child. Once you have your child, they may not be a good fit personality-wise for you. This happened to us and we started talking to friends of ours who we thought had a similar parenting-style to us. This worked out to be a good strategy for finding a different doctor.
9. There are so many pumps to choose from. Which one should I register for? I asked one of my friends this question. First, she invited me over and showed me the products I should register for and what they do. This was super helpful to have a pre-registering pep-talk from someone who knew what you actually need and do use. Some of the items I had never heard of or thought I needed. As for the pump, she told me hospitals will rent you one to use while you are in the hospital and then you can take it home with you as long as you need it. The pump I rented from the hospital was nicer than the one I would have registered for and more powerful as well.
10. What do you pack for the plane ride with infants and young toddlers? One of my friends asked me since we traveled for the first time when we had two under two. I told her a pacifier or bottle for take off/landing so that a babies ears don't hurt from the pressure, little toys that toddlers have not seen before and stickers. For some reason, a bunch of stickers books worked really well for a long plane ride with a short toddler attention span.
Next time you have a question no matter how silly, personal or strange you think it is, ask one of your friends. You may be surprised with the answer. It may be exactly what you need and chances are your friend had already experienced the same situation, but never mentioned it.
Are there questions you're glad you asked one of your friends? What are they? Please comment below and let me know.
0 Comments Add a Comment?