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Two Too Soon: Pros and Cons Of Having Kids Close in Age

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Are you considering another baby after just having one or did you get pregnant quickly the second time around? Or maybe you adopted only to find out you were expecting yourself?


According to the Mayo Clinic, some research studies recommend waiting 18 to 24 months after the first pregnancy, but less than five years between children. The possible risk factors for babies born too close together are low birth weight, small size and preterm delivery. Waiting longer than five years includes these risk factors plus possible high blood pressure and preeclampsia. And, they say spacing babies too close together may be harder on a mother to recover from back to back pregnancies.


For me personally, we struggled with infertility the first time and were told getting pregnant naturally would not be successful. So long story short, when our first baby was nine months old, I became pregnant with my second child. So whatever my thoughts were about “ideal kid-spacing” were null and void at this point. Here are some positives and ways around the negatives if planning or "just happened" to have kids close together:


Positives:


Never Remember Being Without a Sibling: Since your older child will still be a baby or young toddler when your next child arrives, he or she will never remember a time without them. This is great because they have an on-demand and permanent play date.


Can Share Clothes When Older: Our now close-in-age children are six and seven and have one wardrobe. Even if you have a boy and girl, they will be able to share some clothing items.


Pregnancy will be familiar: All my pregnancy clothes were still in my closet and I had prenatal vitamins on my bathroom shelf. Since you were pregnant not too long ago, going through the process again, will be easier since you remember what to expect.


Age Not a Factor: A lot of people are waiting longer these days to have children. I know I did. We traveled a lot in our twenties and decided to have children in our thirties. If you fall into this category, you know from your doctor the older you get, the harder it is to get pregnant and the possible risk factors increase. You may decide if you’re an older mom, to try right after having a baby to get pregnant again so that time is on your side.


One-Stop School Drop-Off: Kids close in age will likely either be a grade or two at the most between each other in school. This means they will go to the same school at the same time for most of their lives. You will be familiar with the homework routine, you will know the teachers well and your two kids will have each other to lean on through school.


Negatives, ways around the cons:


The Double Stroller: This will become your new best friend. Our favorite (we've gone through two) was the Graco DuoGlider since it was easy to fold/unfold and fit though doors easily. But whichever model works best for you, a double stroller will become extremely helpful. Even though this will have to be a new purchase for you, in the long run, it will be a positive. It will help keep your kids together when you are traveling or running errands and carries both kids and shopping bags making for less stress when you are out.


The Crib Situation: You will need to decide if you are going to invest in a second crib or not. My personal opinion, you can opt to move even a young toddler into a twin bed. To save us from having to buy a second crib, we bought a twin bed with a high foot and headboard, placed it against a wall and used a bed rail on the fourth side. It really acted as a large crib for our toddler and saved us money in the process.


Diapers Galore: Yes, most likely you will need two diaper pails and two sizes of diapers. The good news is two in diapers might motivate you to potty train the oldest one quicker. I know it did for us and then the older one can help you in potty training efforts with the younger one. And we found, the younger one might listen more to their older sibling, than to the parents in the training process.


Not Enough Time Spent With Oldest Child: I heard this statement a lot from people: “Aren’t you upset you didn’t have enough one-on-one time with your oldest child? Yes, even though they were an only child for a short amount of time, this is not necessarily a bag thing. Your child will learn to share quickly and the art of playing alone when you need to tend to the baby.


Younger One Thinks They Are A Twin: I notice this now more than I did when our two girls were younger, but our younger child gets upset that she can’t do everything her sister can. She remembers her sister as a twin and considers her a peer rather than an older sibling. I think as long as you reassure the younger child they will eventually learn what the older child learns, the frustration levels will come down.


Do you have kids close in age? Are you considering having another baby soon? Please comment below and let me know your thoughts on two too close together.

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